Is there a setting that lets me download the metadata for a transfer but NOT any of the actual files? I want to be able to add magnets and then kill the transfer once a list of files for that magnet is saved.

Settings - Transfers/Files - Auto-Select files in new transfers - Preset "No Select" that equates to
Never Select (Match Case ON): * and in tab Options Apply Filters to Single-File Transfers.

I think for every transfer you want to download you will have to toggle its files to ON manually.