please help me, why my incoming port settings are different than the optimize settings, i cannot change the port

The screenshots have not been updated in a long time. There's only one port now. Make sure that port-forwarding works:
a) your home router must support UPnP or NAT-PMP
b) you have a dedicated IPv4 or IPv6 (preferably both)
OR c) you choose a VPN where you can port-forward

If port-forwarding was successful, Tixati will no longer show "No incoming connections" at the bottom of the window next to "DHT: online (1234 nodes)"